Spooky season is here and all is right with the world. As of late horror movies have become a bit more of my jam. Am I a horror movie connoisseur yet? Not by any stretch of the imagination. In freshman year of high school I had a panic attack and passed out watching a video on leeches so imagine how I do with gore. Despite this aversion to body grotesquery, I do likes me a good theatrical experience with things that bump in the evening.
Horror has many faces so to celebrate the spooks that loom adjacent to us, now is a good time to talk turkey before the turkey. For those that actively avoid horror, I hear you, but everyone has a subgenre of spooks that are perfect for each style.
This will be a bit of a long article, but your interests are in my mind. Rather than telling you to watch the same horror movie everyone else is, here are some alternative horror movie options for you to watch this season.
Screen shot from the movie Poltergeist (1982)
Bad Horror Movies
Not every blood-stained canvas is art. It is impossible for every consumable piece of media to grab you emotionally every time. That is okay. Sometimes it is so refreshing to consume a film you know is going to suck (not in a cool way like a vampire though). Kiss the hours of your life away and say hello to a few of your new guilty pleasures.
I hope that when I reach the place beyond this life, I am rewarded for the amount of time I have spent talking about the wonderful car crash of Old. It sucks, but I know you will like it. Several families go to a beach that makes you old. ‘Nuff said about that. The next atrocity I have much admiration for is another M. Night Shyamalan classic- The Happening. Trees emit a toxin and make people harm themselves or just die. Enjoy.
Netflix really thought they created something magical and intense when they made Bird Box, but I promise you they did not. Something invades Earth and if you see it you will die. Everything is laughable, nonsensical, and as tense as a cloud.
Hey, speaking of clouds: The Mist sucks a whole bunch too! A mysterious mist takes over a small town in New England while survivors’ hole up in a shopping center. At several points there were numerous opportunities to get good, but alas, it did not. I do not want to talk about bad movies anymore.
Horror Comedy
Horror and comedy have one common characteristic if they are both done right: catharsis. Yes, catharsis is the exact word I meant to use. Whatever sick part of our brains enjoy seeing someone get hurt falling down the stairs is the same part that smiles when the cliche jock gets eaten off-screen. Horrible things are intentionally happening for your hilarity and there are very few combinations like a horror comedy.
One of the most highly regarded television series on any network at this current time is What We Do in The Shadows. The show is fantastic, hilarious, unique, and also one of my favorites currently on today. However, I think I prefer the original film version.
The cast of Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi’s 2014 vampire comedy What We Do in the Shadows. Image provided courtesy of Unison Films.
Starring Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement, the film follows four vampires living as flat mates in England in the modern era. It really is as simple as that. Before Waititi hit it big and made independent films, we got this incredible movie right here. It is a little spooky, but not quite scary.
Horror Comedy Continued
A staple family movie that captures Halloween perfectly is Hocus Pocus. Hocus Pocus is an all-time Halloween classic and if you somehow have not seen it, you are missing out. The film follows three sister witches that have been reawakened into the 1990s. Sweet, charming, silly, and good are all you need to know about what this movie is.
Turning up the blood, the laughs, and wrapping up the horror comedy section is one I recently stumbled upon and wish I found earlier: Drag Me to Hell. Sam Raimi is the man! At no point did I expect to think as highly of this as I currently do. Drag Me to Hell contains several satanic symbols and images as well as some disturbing content so if this is something that bothers you then I think it is safe to skip this one.
Christine is a loan officer, and after denying an old woman more time on her loan, she is cursed to be dragged to Hell in three days’ time. It is campy and silly, but equally entertaining and brutal!
Light Spookery
One of my favorite movies that I watched for the first time this year is The Craft. Fairuza Balk and Neve Campbell are high school witches. Every inch of this movie is perfect, and I wish I was one of the girls so desperately. The film follows Sarah, a new student in a Catholic high school, who befriends a coven of witches. Over time their power grows, and Sarah wants out of the group, but the group will not let her leave. This movie is so bomb, dude. It is a vibe, and it rocks so much.
On the topic of high school horror is The Faculty. The star power in this movie is bonker billies. Squid aliens invade a local high school and attempt to take over the world from there, but a group of aware students fight back to survive.
Bodies Bodies Bodies has a rare honor of being something I actually enjoy Pete Davidson in. The film follows a group of influencers stuck in a house during a hurricane. After a party game goes horribly wrong, they all try to survive and avoid each other.
Get Out of My Head
You can hide or you can try to look away, but everything on screen will still be there in your sleep. Those things that go bump in the night are here in the daylight and they will stay. Everything in this section is based on this feeling of a monster or person so ever-present.
Starting things off is a fantastically slow descent into insanity that does not feel that way until the end: Carnival of Souls. After surviving a cat crash, Mary moves away to start a new job but is then haunted by a ghostly man that is drawing her into an abandoned carnival. I had the opportunity to check this one out a few years ago and while it did strike me as a bit slow, the end of everything was well worth sitting through.
Next up is a small pairing of films from one of contemporary cinemas most original voices: Robert Eggers. While The Northman was so damn awesome, it is not a horror movie so we can keep it to The Lighthouse and The VVitch. The Lighthouse centers on two lighthouse keepers stranded on their small island. Time passes and both men slowly lose their sense of stability and begin going at each other’s throats.
Head Horror Continued
The VVitch centers on a family cast astray from their village in the early 1600s. Living alone near a forest, the family soon realize they are being haunted and tortured by a witch in the woods. Both films are atmospheric, evil, plodding but not boring, and constantly unnerving. Both are packed with fantastic performances and equally incredible writing and direction from Eggers.
The next film is a little Australian piece called The Babadook. You probably have heard the silly name before, but I found this film to be pretty upsetting. The film is an allegory for grief of a deceased loved one and it is rough to get through.
One film I think gets severely overlooked in the horror and the cinephile world is It Follows. After sleeping with and spending the night with Hugh, Jay discovers Hugh passed along a curse to her that she can not escape. A creature invisible except only to those infected, It Follows is a personal favorite contemporary horror flick of mine that I wish to recommend at any point possible.
Leave Me Alone
They burrow beneath your skin and are hiding in your mind in a corner you can not reach. These following horror movies are light on the gore but everything scary on screen is hidden in your brain. What you see or do not see will hurt you. While I tried to keep these lists with as few classic horror movies as possible, I could not resist talking about The Blair Witch Project. Maybe this one is not everyone’s chalice of blood, but it was mine.
The Blair Witch Project follows three teens in a small town’s woods trying to gather information for a documentary on a local legend: Blair Witch. The premise is simple and the scares are kept pretty minimal until an explosion of discomfort at the end. Everything leading up to the final few minutes is a slow burn that feels like bugs under your skin. Someone could be watching you. Do not look in the corners of your room, but do not ignore them.
Unlike The Blair Witch, the real discomfort is right in front of us in Creep. Both Blair Witch and Creep are found footage films and both use the film techniques in incredible ways. Creep follows Aaron, a documentarian set on helping a man, Josef, film the last few days of his life before he passes away.
Continued
What follows is a disturbing spiral of mistrust and discomfort. Josef gets more strange and it always feels like an uninvited and unwanted guest is in the room with you. Scary stuff.
Blair Witch centered on what can not be seen. Creep is scary for what you can see and do know. But what about horror that you can see, can not see, and not understand all at once? Nope is the answer. While it is not the scariest movie on this list, nor is it even all that scary, but there is a ton of mystery here. What is this thing that everyone is obsessed with? Where is it? What do you do to stop it?
Nope follows two siblings on their horse ranch in a desolate area of California. Over the course of several days they discover something beyond their comprehension is lurking near, or above, them at all times. Nope, again, is not the scariest of Jordan Peele’s movies. Nope was so much fun and is definitely a good flick to check out at any time other than Halloween.
Faith in Nothing
Everything so far has been either an attack on your psyche or your eyes. What about your emotions and heart? If movies can give you hope and inspire, what is wrong with breaking your soul or heart? My first picks are both contemporary hits that bring their own flavor of soul sucking defeat from the same director. I am talking, of course, about Midsommar and Hereditary.
Midsommar follows a group of college students on a vacation in Sweden for a festival in an attempt to help one of their friends get over the death of her family. The festival quickly turns from a delightful escape from reality to an inescapable daymare.
Upon its release, Midsommar did not strike those around me as all that scary compared to Hereditary. That is fine, and I agree, but what lands Midsommar here is how terribly upsetting it is. By the end when everyone is literally in pieces, I am always emotionally in shambles trying to get out of there.
Before Ari Aster’s daymare in Sweden there were nightmares in Utah. That is not a great selling point, I know, but Hereditary is emotionally destructive, spiritually devastating, and visceral. Following the death of the family matriarch, the Graham family begin to experience a series of tragedies within the family that break them down quickly and painfully.
Faith in Nothing Continued
What is there to say about Hereditary that has not been said by everyone on Earth already? Give this a watch if you have not already, keep your eyes open, and enjoy yourself.
The final film in this section is one that has been divisive since its release, but one I thoroughly enjoyed. The feature film of events that preceded the television series in the town of Twin Peaks, Fire Walk With Me is a haunting film.
When I initially watched the film my roommates in college joined me towards the end of the film and this was a mistake. They did both stay till the end, but one of them felt the need to pray afterwards, and I do not blame him at all. Fire Walk With Me is grueling, evil, stomach churning, and an overall heartbreaking film. If you are looking to feel some form of brokenness then maybe this movie is for you. Stay away from me, please, but let me know what you think of it!
Heart in a Blender
Horror is a vast genre and it is insane to cover every kind, but there are two more that deserve a spotlight here. Initially, it seemed like the hype and praise for Cabin in the Woods was a cruel joke and everyone actually hated it. Such is not the case, and it is clear to see that it is a movie that fits into so many categories.
Cabin in the Woods follows a group of college students staying in an isolated… cabin…in.. in the…in… in the woods. The longer they stay, the more bizarre things happen to them all while in a laboratory deep underground scientists control what is happening to them.
If you have not seen Cabin in the Woods I can not recommend it enough. It is ridiculous, over the top, funny, creative, satisfying, and everything it needs to be. The final movie I bring you today is 2022’s Bones and All. Maren is a teen cannibal onher own after being abandoned by her father. She meets Lee, another cannibal and they begin a romance. This movie is incredibly sweet, yet absolutely disgusting. When they eat, they munch and crunch. It is truly vile, but at the same time their romance is so sweet.
Alternative Horror Movies Wrapup
Even if horror is not your thing, I hope you are able to finish something here that is. Do not let the word “Horror” convince you every movie is jumpscares and massacres. There is a corner of horror for those and it is not one I will be visiting for a few more years. Have a happy Halloween and let me know some of your favorite horror movies!
